How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.
—Proverbs 3:13
I believe there are two kinds of people when it comes to "understanding." First, there are those who will never have a lot of it. They don't take the time to gain understanding. Instead of paying attention, listening, watching, they are interrupting to ask what you mean. When that happens to me I want to yell, "Open your ears and close your mouth and you will understand!" And they never really understand because they don't have the desire to. They just want to know enough to get by and they don't want to have to work for even that much. They want you to tell them what you have learned.
Women hate that. They don't want to have to tell us what's going on in their mind or in their heart. They want us to care enough to slow down and pay attention. They feel like they have already told us hundreds of times what they think, what they need, what they hope.
And that's the second class of people when it comes to understanding. Those who take time to study, to analyze, observe, research, explore, to pay attention and gain understanding! People with higher IQs are almost always in this second group. Why? Because they are ever learning, not interrupting the opportunities to gain understanding, not simply wanting to know enough to get by, not content for someone else to learn for them. And those who do the same in the marriage have a higher HQ (happiness quotient).
Imagine this and try it if you can: Become a student of your wife. Ananlyze her, how she thinks. Observe her as she goes through her day and does her life's work. Research her - you heard me, research. Research her past, things that were important to her as a child, as a young lady. All those things you should know about her, her family, school, favorite subjects, music, first car, anything you can learn about her. And explore her. The difference in researching and exploring is that exploration is done in present time. And it is hands on, full involvement, not watching from a distance, not simply reading a book. Get involved in your wife's life and learn what makes her tick, what makes her happy, what makes her sad, and so on. Yes, I am saying you simply need to begin to pay attention, again, like you did when you first met.
The next time your relationship hits a little pothole, you'll better understand why she reacts the way she does.
TODAY’S DARE
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. What does she like? The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your wife better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and for her.
No comments:
Post a Comment