He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
—Proverbs 17:9 NIV
Can you be trusted? With a juicy secret? I don't have one to share, I just want to know so that if you can't, I won't confide in you. I am amazed at those who confide in friends that they know are blabbermouths. I have friends, even friends in ministry, that I am very guarded with what I tell. Some people just want others to know that they know. And I don't care to listen to gossip either. You know what I've learned? He who gossips to you will gossip of you.
So if you're prone to listening to a gossip, chances are that you are that same gossip's subject when you're not around. It's kind of like "what goes around, comes around."
And relate that to your marriage. I am sure you have some funny and embarassing things you could tell about your wife, and some seriously damaging stories as well. But before you start blabbing secrets, don't forget - she has a lot on you, too, bud!
But the main reason to protect your wife's secrets is that you're protecting her! Don't you want her to know you're her protector? But if you ever once divulge a secret, she will no longer feel safe to share anything with you again. It will destroy your intimacy. Intimacy isn't just sex. Great sex stems from it but intimacy is much more, much deeper. It is having a close, private relationship with another person. And when you break confidence then the relationship is no longer private. Intimacy in your relationship is no more.
TODAY’S DARE
Beginning today, determine to guard your wife’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to her or to you or your kids). And determine to pray for her about them. Every time you talk with her, do so with tenderness and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of any issues. Really listen when she shares personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make sure she feels unquestionably safe. Protect your intimacy.
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