Day 29 - Love's Motivation

Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men. —Ephesians 6:7

The following is a poem attributed to Mother Teresa:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”

Our true motivation has to be the love that God has already given to us. Love that we didn't deserve either. Love that we also ignored or took for granted. But He gave it anyway. And because of His love that we have received, He expects us to love others, not based on their worthiness, but on His love. And it should begin with the wife you promised to love above all other people in this world.

TODAY’S DARE

Before you see your wife again today, pray for her by name and for her needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to her in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

Day 28 - Love Makes Sacrifices

He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.
—1 John 3:16

What's important to you? Whatever you are willing to sacrifice for, that's what's important to you. You know, when you have a slammed full schedule but you will make time for - - - - You fill in the blank and that's what's important to you.

If your wife is consistently 2nd or 3rd place in your life (or lower) you can't say she is most important. But she is supposed to be.

How long has it been since you delayed buying that toy you have been saving for so she could have something she wants, something for the house that's important to her, or that bit of financial security? For example, most wives don't want a vacation if their husband doesn't have life insurance.

How long has it been since you willingly dropped something important to you from your schedule to do something for your wife? Not because she badgered you but because you wanted to do it. Because she is more important than anything else on your schedule. And not something that is important to both of you. It only counts if it is something you really didn't want, don't like to do, is totally out of character for you. Otherwise, it wasn't a sacrifice.

Sacrifice - something important to you - dropped for something important to her.


TODAY’S DARE

What is one of the greatest needs in your wife's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from her shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

Day 27 - Love Encourages

Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
—Psalm 25:20

I say to-MAY-to, you say to-MAH-to.

First of all, the purpose of relationship and of marriage is to enjoy being together, growing closer - not finding ways to argue. But in some marriages that's all they do. They don't just argue over their differences. Every day they look for things to argue about.

Secondly, remember that the differences are probably what drew you to each other in the first place. I know, it was cute stuff way back then. But this is different. you say. Did you really think those cute things were the only differences? Face it. You see things and think about things differently. You're going to act differently.

But no one wants to be lectured...or talked down to...or told they are wrong several times a day...every day...of the week...that they live with you. How long would it take for you to get your fill of it? Well, guess what? Yep, she's the same way.

Love encourages. Love looks for good in others. Love is a cheerleader. Does that describe you? If not, decide today to make a change. When she makes a mistake, give her a place to hide, not be told how bad she failed. Make sure she knows you believe in her. Become the encourager your wife so desperately needs you to be.


TODAY’S DARE

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your wife has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell her you’re sorry for being so hard on her about it. Promise her you’ll seek to understand, and assure her of your unconditional love.

Day 26 - Love is Responsible

When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.
—Romans 2:1

Today may not be the most fun of all the dares. But it might be the most rewarding yet.

Today's dare is kind of like visiting a nursing home. Have you ever been? Not my favorite place to go and it's not really my gift or my passion. But sometimes duty calls and I have to show up. But even though I normally arrive wishing I was ministering somewhere else, I have never, ever left sorry that I went!

Just like repentance. It isn't fun. Not my favorite place to spend a little time. It's not a place I am passionate about going to. But because we have to be responsible, adult, and THE man of our household, when it's time to go, we must show up. But I can also tell you that I have never, ever walked away from an altar of repentance, or a meeting to reconcile, or a phone call to apologize, or a time of restitution - well, you get the idea. I have never straightened out a wrong and been sorry that I did. Ever.

And how many wrongs do I still owe apologies for to my wife? Name three of them right now. Look back, way back. Look deep, real deep. Find three. And do the dare.


TODAY’S DARE

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing in your marriage, your relationship with your wife. Ask for God’s forgiveness.

Then humble yourself enough to admit them to her. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask her for forgiveness. And no matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism or cynicism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

Day 25 - Love Forgives

What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.
—2 Corinthians 2:10

What a horrible prison unforgiveness is! Men who hold things from the past over their wife's head are tyrants, ogres. I pray that none of you are doing so.

A big part of a relationship is forgiveness. And as the person responsible more for how well the relationship goes, we men need to be forgivers. How would you like to live every day, every moment thinking your wife might bring up something from your past? That's a pretty dark prison to serve a life sentence in.

But the prison isn't just holding your wife. If you are harboring unforgiveness, it's holding you, too. Remember that as we ask God to “forgive us our debts” each day, Jesus taught that we must ask for forgiveness based on how we forgive others. Ouch! And that just doesn't go for your wife. It means for anyone who has wronged you. But no one deserves and needs it more than the person who lives with your imperfections every day.


TODAY’S DARE

Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your wife, forgive it today. It may be something huge that she knows you have stuck in your craw. Or it may be something small you are hanging onto secretly. Let it go. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your wife in prison too long. Say in your heart, “I choose to forgive.” And if she knows you are holding it, and if you have been a jerk about it in the past, you need to say it out loud to her as well. And then ask her to forgive you for being a jerk.

Day 24 - Love vs. Lust

The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.
—1 John 2:17

Love can last forever when it is cherished and nurtured. Love is of God and He is eternal.

But lust is fickle. Feeding lust doesn't fulfill it but makes it hungrier. It is never satisfied. It is always looking for something new to fill its appetite. Lust divides a man from his wife quicker than anything else I can think of - because lust only takes a moment to conceive!

Any man who has ever succumbed to lust can tell you that it does not build up but it destroys. It will never leave you feeling better, fulfilled or more of a man. Lust has left many men in its wake feeling like a failure, empty, wondering what it will take to satisfy that uncontrollable physical desire.

And any woman married to a man with lust in his heart will tell you that it destroys their intimacy, brings a brutal type of secret pain to her, leaving her feeling degraded and abused.


TODAY’S DARE

End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Repent over it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live, not even in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed — today — and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love for your wife.

Day 23 - Love Always Protects

[Love] always protects.
—1 Corinthians 13:7

Funny episode of All in the Family on tv last night. I don't recall ever seeing it before, or ever seeing Mike treat Gloria with such callousness. It was a stretch of his character to say the least so I knew they were setting something up. He insisted a food allergy was all in her head. He was so adamant about it that he forced her to eat the food. He was so sure he was right he was willing to put her in danger.

We'd never do that. We'd never insist, demand or require anything that wouldn't be the absolute best for our wives. Would we?

How about allow? Would we allow anything into our marriage, on our tv or computer or in our home that wouldn't protect her?

As priest of the home you're in charge of protecting a lot more than the life of your wife. You must protect her honor, her heart, her security, her confidence, her spirituality, her reputation - yes, even a married woman needs to have her reputation protected by her husband.

TODAY’S DARE

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship. Remove any addiction before it destroys your intimacy. Remove any influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from her or that would draw her away from you. Protect her from losing you. Be her champion.